Top Funny Interview Questions

The Purpose of Funny Interview Questions

Employers often use funny interview questions try to gage how the interviewee will act when faced with an unexpected situation during times of stress. The way that you present yourself and answer these questions says a lot about your personality, creativity, and ability to handle yourself professionally.

How to Answer

The most important thing to remember is remain calm. For many of these you do not need to respond seriously. Thinking of something creative to say can be just as impressive to your interviewer. Here are some interview questions, which might make you say, "HUH?!"

Quesion: Out of all your college experiences, what was the most fun?

This shows your potential employer how you enjoy yourself out of the office or at least when you were in college. Don't say, the best college experience you had was bar hopping until you vomited on your friends shoes, passed out in a ditch and had your friends carry you home. Keep it cool, calm, and vague. You could say something like, "I had so much fun in college but the best were the parties I went to with my friends."

Quesion: How many hats do you own?

The purpose of this one is to explore how flexible you would be working for the company. You could say you own many hats and can change them easily as you need to.

Quesion: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Your potential employer seeks to find out what you aspire for yourself. Discuss some superpowers and then relate it back to the possible duties of your position with the company.

Quesion: Your co-worker comes by your desk and sticks her tongue at you, what do you do?

Some potential employers want to see how humorous you can be, especially in stressful situations. You could say, "Stick my tongue out right back at her, put my thumbs on my temples, and wiggle my fingers."

Quesion: What is Eskimo ice?

Don't understand the question? That's exactly the point, try being creative. Think of something witty to say such as, "Ice made especially by Eskimos, which is great for making igloos."

Quesion: What is your worst quality?

Instead of asking what your weaknesses are, which is a common interview question, this one comes at you in a different way. Answer this just as you would address the weakness question.

Quesion: If I came to your home and looked in your refrigerator, what would I find?

Don't get flustered. Answer exactly what is in your fridge and act as if it's not a big deal he or she is asking you.

Quesion: What did you want to be when you were 12 years old?

Answer this truthfully. If you lie, your potential employer may figure out that you are fibbing, and he or she will assume that you'll gladly lie to make yourself look good.

Quesion: Do you install toilet paper so that you pull from the top or the bottom of the roll?

This helps employers know if you will take initiative in the position. Answer one or the other because if you say, "I don't know" it shows that you are not taking the question seriously and you may handle duties this way as well.

Quesion: If you were a tree, what would you be?

Pick anything but a weeping willow and prepare to defend your answer.

Quesion: What was the last book you read?

Were you researching the company? Mention some industry related material that you have actually read.

Quesion: If you could choose to be any food, what would it be?

Choose something healthy because an unhealthy food might be a sign that you will cost the company extra money in health insurance.

Final Tip

No matter what type of question you receive, handle it with confidence. Your competence in an interview with difficult questions will show that you are a potential employee who shines during nerve-racking situations.

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Wonderful Story on Stock Market Fraud

Hi All HR Guys! Here is a stock market story that we all should learn a lesson from!

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50.”

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!

Welcome to the “Stock” Market!!!
Satyam Fraud
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Twenty Worst Interview Questions

So here are the worst or most humorous questions readers submitted to HR Advisor:

“If you were a carousel, what type of music would you play?”

One of our managers proposed this question. It still makes me laugh, but only because it was never used in the actual interview!

“Who cuts the lawn in your family, you or your husband?”

The CFO asked me this one when I was interviewing for an Administrative Assistant position at an insurance company in the early 1990s.

“Does your spouse support your efforts to enter this profession?”

During an interview for a position as a police officer, I answered that question saying that I was hopeful my husband would “come around.” When told that I did not pass the interview. I contacted HR for feedback. The director, a male, acknowledged that while the panel liked my overall answers, they were concerned by my answer to the "spouse support" question. (They justified this question by stating that there is a high divorce rate in this profession.)

The director then asked, "What will you do if your husband ultimately does not support you?" I replied that that I wouldn’t divorce him. The director said that he agreed with the decision to reject me because he certainly wouldn’t want his wife to be a cop.

“How do you handle rumors and gossip in the workplace, especially if it is about you?“

I gave my answer but asked them, “Is there a problem with rumors and gossip in this office?” I respectfully declined their offer of employment—it must have been pretty bad if they were asking that question during the interview!

“How many children do you have?”

My daughter was also asked "What will you do for child care?" and "Who carries the medical insurance, you or your husband?" The interview was conducted by a team and not one of them objected or reacted when the questions were asked.

“If I were to ask your husband if you have a bad time during PMS, what would he say?”

Being young and really needing the job, I told him he would say that I was fine. He then explained that they had a secretary that “once a month” would be so cranky no one could even talk to her.

“If you were a vegetable, what would you be?”

I was too flabbergasted to respond to this CEO's question, but I got the position.

“I see on your résumé that all your previous experience is out of town. What brings you to this town?”

This question was asked of my wife. It was a military town, and the point was to see if I was in the military.

“Does your parents' house have a swimming pool?”

My 16-year-old was also asked, "What kind of car do you drive?" and "Are your parents divorced?"

“So when did you graduate from college?”

I took some time off of school so if the interviewer was fishing for my age, she got it wrong!

“Are you wearing a skirt or pants?”

A male interviewer seated at his desk asked me this one. Then he asked me to stand up. He then took notes about it. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t get the job.

“What is the limit that you could earn under Social Security without losing any benefits?”

Not knowing any better, my husband told the interviewer that he could earn any amount because he was of full retirement age. He did not get the job.

”So, you are getting married soon, does that mean you will be leaving us to go have a baby?”

I got this question from a company president in the late 1980s.

“Do you live with anyone?”

I asked how that question was relevant to the position. The interviewer said that I could not possibly afford to rent or buy on my own. I said nothing. I think she was trying to get me to say that I was living with my boyfriend, which I was. I didn’t get the job. The company went under a few years later.

Thanks for responding, readers. We'll feature more forbidden question responses in a future issue of the Advisor.

Six Thinking Hats - A good analysis technique

Edward de Bono in his book "6 Thinking Hats" preaches about look at thing from different perspectives.

Looking at a Decision from All Points of View

"Six Thinking Hats" is a powerful technique that helps you look at important decisions from a number of different perspectives. It helps you make better decisions by pushing you to move outside your habitual ways of thinking. As such, it helps you understand the full complexity of a decision, and spot issues and opportunities which you might otherwise not notice.

Many successful people think from a very rational, positive viewpoint, and this is part of the reason that they are successful. Often, though, they may fail to look at problems from emotional, intuitive, creative or negative viewpoints. This can mean that they underestimate resistance to change, don't make creative leaps, and fail to make essential contingency plans.

Similarly, pessimists may be excessively defensive, and people used to a very logical approach to problem solving may fail to engage their creativity or listen to their intuition.

If you look at a problem using the Six Thinking Hats technique, then you'll use all of these approaches to develop your best solution. Your decisions and plans will mix ambition, skill in execution, sensitivity, creativity and good contingency planning.

This tool was created by Edward de Bono in his book "6 Thinking Hats".

How to Use the Tool:

To use Six Thinking Hats to improve the quality of your decision-making, look at the decision "wearing" each of the thinking hats in turn.

Each "Thinking Hat" is a different style of thinking. These are explained below:

• White Hat:
  With this thinking hat, you focus on the data available. Look at the information you have, and see what you can learn from it. Look for gaps in your knowledge, and either try to fill them or take account of them.
  
  This is where you analyze past trends, and try to extrapolate from historical data.

• Red Hat:
  Wearing the red hat, you look at the decision using intuition, gut reaction, and emotion. Also try to think how other people will react emotionally, and try to understand the intuitive responses of people who do not fully know your reasoning.

• Black Hat:
  When using black hat thinking, look at things pessimistically, cautiously and defensively. Try to see why ideas and approaches might not work. This is important because it highlights the weak points in a plan or course of action. It allows you to eliminate them, alter your approach, or prepare contingency plans to counter problems that arise.

  Black Hat thinking helps to make your plans tougher and more resilient. It can also help you to spot fatal flaws and risks before you embark on a course of action. Black Hat thinking is one of the real benefits of this technique, as many successful people get so used to thinking positively that often they cannot see problems in advance, leaving them under-prepared for difficulties.

• Yellow Hat:
  The yellow hat helps you to think positively. It is the optimistic viewpoint that helps you to see all the benefits of the decision and the value in it, and spot the opportunities that arise from it. Yellow Hat thinking helps you to keep going when everything looks gloomy and difficult.

• Green Hat:
  The Green Hat stands for creativity. This is where you can develop creative solutions to a problem. It is a freewheeling way of thinking, in which there is little criticism of ideas. A whole range of creativity tools can help you here.

• Blue Hat:
  The Blue Hat stands for process control. This is the hat worn by people chairing meetings. When running into difficulties because ideas are running dry, they may direct activity into Green Hat thinking. When contingency plans are needed, they will ask for Black Hat thinking, and so on.

You can use Six Thinking Hats in meetings or on your own. In meetings it has the benefit of defusing the disagreements that can happen when people with different thinking styles discuss the same problem.

A similar approach is to look at problems from the point of view of different professionals (e.g. doctors, architects, sales directors) or different customers.

Example:

The directors of a property company are looking at whether they should construct a new office building. The economy is doing well, and the amount of vacant office space is reducing sharply. As part of their decision they decide to use the 6 Thinking Hats technique during a planning meeting.

Looking at the problem with the White Hat, they analyze the data they have. They examine the trend in vacant office space, which shows a sharp reduction. They anticipate that by the time the office block would be completed, that there will be a severe shortage of office space. Current government projections show steady economic growth for at least the construction period.

With Red Hat thinking, some of the directors think the proposed building looks quite ugly. While it would be highly cost-effective, they worry that people would not like to work in it.

When they think with the Black Hat, they worry that government projections may be wrong. The economy may be about to enter a 'cyclical downturn', in which case the office building may be empty for a long time.

If the building is not attractive, then companies will choose to work in another better-looking building at the same rent.

With the Yellow Hat, however, if the economy holds up and their projections are correct, the company stands to make a great deal of money.

If they are lucky, maybe they could sell the building before the next downturn, or rent to tenants on long-term leases that will last through any recession.

With Green Hat thinking they consider whether they should change the design to make the building more pleasant. Perhaps they could build prestige offices that people would want to rent in any economic climate. Alternatively, maybe they should invest the money in the short term to buy up property at a low cost when a recession comes.

The Blue Hat has been used by the meeting's Chair to move between the different thinking styles. He or she may have needed to keep other members of the team from switching styles, or from criticizing other peoples' points.

Key points:

Six Thinking Hats is a good technique for looking at the effects of a decision from a number of different points of view.

It allows necessary emotion and skepticism to be brought into what would otherwise be purely rational decisions. It opens up the opportunity for creativity within Decision Making. It also helps, for example, persistently pessimistic people to be positive and creative.

Plans developed using the '6 Thinking Hats' technique are sounder and more resilient than would otherwise be the case. This technique may also help you to avoid public relations mistakes, and spot good reasons not to follow a course of action, before you have committed to it.

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ASR's HR Solutions include modules covering Personnel, Recruitment, Training e-HR and the Accord Payroll. Each module or product can also be purchased separately if required. Making full use of web technology via our e-HR software helps to improve business performance, facilitate innovation and enhance operations.

For comprehensive information on ASR and all aspects of the Accord Payroll Software offering supplied click here to download ASR's HR Payroll Software full corporate brochure;

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More about Free HR Software

OrangeHRM Features:

• Administration Module (Admin)
• Personal Information Manager Module (PIM)
• Employee Self Service Module (ESS)
• Reports Module
• Leave Module
  
• Time and Attendance Module (Time)
  
• Benefit Module
  
• Recruitment Module
  

Administration Module (Admin)

The part of the system where the HR Manager or other appointed personnel perform all system administration tasks. This include defining company structure, pay grades and other information that serves as the backbone for the rest of the system. Security issues are taken care of through this module as well by defining user rights.

Features:

• Define Company Info (General Information, Company Structure, Locations)
• Define Job information (Job titles, Pay Grades, Employment Statuses, EEO Job Categories)
• Define Qualification Information (Education, Licenses)
• Define Skills (Skills, Languages)
• Define Memberships and Membership types
• Define Nationalities & Races
• Define Users
• Configure and subscribe for E-mail Notifications

Personal Information Manager Module (PIM)

This core module maintains all relevant employee related information, including different types of personal information, detailed qualifications and work experience, job related information etc. Picture of employee is included as well. Information captured in this module is utilized by all other modules, thus eliminating data redundancy.

Features :

• Personal information (Date of birth, SSN, nationality, ethnic race etc.)
• Color picture
• Contact details
• Emergency Contact(s)
• Dependents
• Immigration details (Passport & Visa info)
• Job information
• Payment details (Pay Grade & Salary)
• Employee reporting structure (Assign Supervisor)
• Work Experience
• Education details
• Skills
• Assign Languages
• Assign Licenses
• Assign Memberships
• Attachments
• Define employee id (which was previously auto generated)
• Display more employee details in the employee list
• Search with more fields

Employee Self Service Module (ESS)

Employee self service is a powerful tool providing employees of the company with the ability to view relevant information such as personal information, updating personal information with web - enabled PC without having to hassle the HR staff.

The functionality of this module spans through the entire system, making information available anywhere, anytime. Of course all information is subject to company defined security policy, where everyone can only view the information he/she is authorized to. Time and cost saving effects from this solution are tremendous.

Reports Module

This feature produces customized reports according to your needs. Any number of reports can be defined by selecting from a range of search criteria and report fields. Report definitions can be saved to avoid repeating this task. Once the report definition is saved, the report can be generated by providing the required criteria data

Leave Module

A comprehensive leave management module, with extensive possibilities of defining leave types and more. It caters for all application and approval processes and is able to display information on leave entitlement, balance, history etc. Thanks to the web-enabled and self-service concepts, it significantly streamlines all leave related procedures, eliminates paperwork and saves costs.

Features:

• Define Leave Types
• View Leave Summary of all employees in one screen
• Define Days-off (weekends and specific holidays)
• Apply for and assign continuous leave
• Receive auto notification e-mails after performing leave related operations

Time and Attendance Module (Time)

The module automates time tracking related processes. The offered functionality enhances the organization's performance by eliminating paperwork and manual processes associated with time and attendance needs. The sophisticated module helps to efficiently organize labor data, improve the workforce management and minimize errors in enforcement of company's attendance policies.

Features:

• Define organization’s customers and projects
• Create timesheets
• Administration and management of your own and your subordinates’ timesheets

Benefit Module

This module illustrates on the company’s Health Saving Plan policies. This allows the administrator of the system to define the suitable health savings plan policy for the organization, ESS users to make requests on health savings, administrator to approve or reject the requests and the systematic monitoring of the user accounts on health savings.

Features:

• Define HSP
• Employee HSP Summary
• HSP Payments Due
• HSP Expenditure
• HSP Request

Recruitment Module

The recruitment module simply defines the whole recruitment process which will be carried out in an organization. The bulky, methodical manual recruitment procedures have been changed into a flexible, user friendly, efficient, comprehensive recruitment engine which can be easily embedded into your companies’ website.

Free HR Software

OrangeHRM is an Open Source HRM information system that will provide a vast range of features to manage the crucial organization asset - people. It provides a perfect platform for re-engineering and aligning your HR processes along with the organizational goals.

What’s new in Free HR Software OrangeHRM 2.4 ?

Introduction of the Recruitment Module which comprises of the comprehensive job application, publishing and recruitment process, according to the feedback, received from user community side, were the main focus of the release.

Features of the new application version include:

• Free HR Software Recruitment Module
1. Listing out the Job Vacancies
• This is where the HR administrator creates the job vacancies available in the organization. He has the option to include all the necessary information, including the job title, the job description and pay grade and employment status.
• 
  
2. Adding Pay Grade
• When listing the available vacancies the HR administrator has the option to add additional pay grades to the system to be compatible with the job listing.
• 
  
3. Adding Employment Status
• Generally the system itself has defined certain employment status at its inception. But if the company needs the HR administrator has the right to add company specified Employment Status to the system when listing out the job vacancies.
• 
  
4. Selecting Hiring Managers for the job vacancies
• It�s compulsory for the HR administrator to select the hiring managers for each job vacancy listed out. This will let the hiring manager receive a notification when someone applies for the particular job that he/she has been appointed as the hiring manager.
• 
  
5. Candidates Start Applying for the Job Vacancies
• The wonder of the OrangeHRM recruitment module is that the candidates can never trace out that they are using the OrangeHRM system, but rather they feel that it�s the particular company recruitment system that they are directed to. The only thing involved in the application process is to select the job and fill up a form containing all the necessary details that are required. The process is very simple and user friendly.
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6. Candidates Start Applying for the Job Vacancies
• The HR administrator can get the full list of applicants for each job and he can schedule interviews for the right people with the respective hiring managers and other executive members. Every action will be notified to the respective candidate via email.

Orange HRM is a Free HR Software. Click here to knnow more aout other Free HR Softwares.

Ten Stupid Things Managers Do To Screw Up Performance Appraisal

Performance appraisals aren't fun. But a lot of the time they are agonizing because managers do really dumb things, ending up destroying a process that is important to everyone (or should be).

Stupid Thing #1: Spending more time on performance appraisal than performance PLANNING, or ongoing performance communication.

Performance appraisal is the end of a process that goes on all the time - a process that is based on good communication between manager and employee. So, more time should be spent preventing performance problems than evaluating at the end of the year. When managers do good things during the year, the appraisal is easy to do and comfortable, because there won't be any surprises.  

Stupid Thing #2: Comparing employees with each other.

Want to create bad feelings, damage morale, get staff to compete so badly they will not work as a team? Then rank staff or compare staff. A guaranteed technique. And heck, not only can a manager create friction among staff, but the manager can become a great target for that hostility too. A bonus!

Stupid Thing #3: Forgetting appraisal is about improvement, not blame.

We do appraisal to improve performance, not find a donkey to pin a tail on or blame. Managers who forget this end up developing staff who don't trust them, or even can't stand them. That's because the blaming process if pointless, and doesn't help anyone. If there is to be a point to performance appraisal it should be getting manager and employee working together to have everyone get better.

Stupid Thing #4: Thinking a rating form is an objective, impartial tool.

Many companies use rating forms to evaluate employees (you know, the 1-5 ratings?). They do that because it's faster than doing it right. The problem comes when managers believe that those ratings are in some way "real", or anything but subjective, often vague judgements that are bound to be subjective and inaccurate. By the way, if you have two people rate the same employee, the chances of them agreeing are very small. THAT'S subjective. Say it to yourself over and over. Ratings are subjective. Rating forms are subjective. Rating forms are not behavioral.

Stupid Thing #5: Stopping performance appraisal when a person's salary is no longer tied to the appraisals.

Lots of managers do this. They conduct appraisals so long as they have to do so to justify or withhold a pay increase. When staff hit their salary ceiling, or pay is not connected to appraisal and performance, managers don't bother. Dumb. Performance appraisal is FOR improving performance. It isn't just about pay (although some think it is ONLY about pay). If nothing else, everyone needs feedback on their jobs, whether there is money involved or not.

Stupid Thing #6: Believing they are in position to accurately assess staff.

Managers delude themselves into believing they can assess staff performance, even if they hardly ever see their staff actually doing their jobs, or the results of their jobs). Not possible. Most managers aren't in a position to monitor staff consistently enough to be able to assess well. And, besides what manager wants to do that or has the time. And, what employee wants their manager perched, watching their every mood. That's why appraisal is a partnership between employee and manager.

Stupid Thing #7: Cancelling or postponing appraisal meetings.

Happens a whole lot. I guess because nobody likes to do them, so managers will postpone them at the drop of a hat. Why is this bad? It says to employees that the process is unimportant or phony. If managers aren't willing to commit to the process, then they shouldn't do it at all. Employees are too smart not to notice the low priority placed on appraisals.

Stupid Thing #8: Measuring or appraising the trivial.

Fact of life: The easiest things to measure or evaluate are the least important things with respect to doing a job. Managers are quick to define customer service as "answering the phone within three rings", or some such thing. That's easy to measure if you want to. What's NOT easy to measure is the overall quality of service that will get and keep customers. Measuring overall customer service is hard, so many managers don't do it. But they will measure the trivial.

Stupid Thing #9: Surprising employees during appraisal.

Want to really waste your time and create bad performance? This is a guaranteed technique. Don't talk to staff during the year. When they mess up, don't deal with it at the time but SAVE it up. Then, at the appraisal meeting, truck out everything saved up in the bank and dump it in the employee's lap. That'll show 'em who is boss!

Stupid Thing #10: Thinking all employees and all jobs should be assessed in exactly the same way using the same procedures.

Do all employees need the same things to improve their performance? Of course not. Some need specific feedback. Some don't. Some need more communication than others. And of course jobs are all different Do you think we can evaluate the CEO of Ford using the same approach as we use for the person who cleans the factory floor? Of course not. So, why do managers insist on evaluating the receptionist using the same tools and criteria as the civil engineers in the office?

It's dumb. One size does not fit all. Actually why do managers do this? Mostly because the personnel or human resource office leans on them to do so. It's almost understandable, but that doesn't make it any less dumb.

Seven Stupid Things Human Resource Departments Do To Screw Up Performance Appraisals

(Disclaimer: This article is based on the book: Performance Management - Why Doesn't It Work, and the McGraw-Hill book entitled Performance Management released in October, 1998. Copyright 1998 Robert Bacal.)

A lot of the time we find that when managers are doing performance appraisals badly, they are getting a lot of "help"from their human resource (HR) or personnel department. Central HR departments can create a situation that virtually destroys any value from the performance appraisal process. Here's the list of dumb things HR folks do.

Stupid Thing #1: Focusing on and stressing the paperwork and forms.

We can understand why human resource people want some sort of paper trail related to performance appraisal. But when the emphasis on the forms and paperwork overshadows the real purpose of doing appraisals, then huge amounts of resources are wasted. When HR departments focus on getting the forms done, that's exactly what they get. Forms done. If that's all this is about, hire a monkey to do it. Any fool (no insult to the monkey) can tick off boxes on a form and send it on.

Stupid Thing #2: Believing that a ratings based form of appraisal will serve as protection against lawsuits by employees.

Big mistake. If you are caught speeding, do you think the court is going to accept as evidence a policeman's statement that "On a scale of 1-5 the driver was a 4?" I don't think so. But HR departments believe that THEIR form is going to withstand legal scrutiny. It's not. It's too subjective and too vague. This desire for false security is one reason HR folks feel they need to pressure managers to get the forms done. At least until their first lawsuit.

Stupid Thing #3: Using an automated system

This is a new development. You can purchase software that automates the performance appraisal process. What it does is it takes a lousy paper process, then makes it a lousy computerized process, so now we go much faster pretending we are doing something useful.

Performance appraisal is an interpersonal communication process. Even between two people, it's often not done well. Automating the process is a waste of money and time, and HR departments that go that route are doing charitable work for the vendors of the software.

It's bad enough we mechanize a human process using paper forms. Now we can take it one step further. Heck, now managers never have to speak to staff. This is progress?

Stupid Thing #4: Undertraining or mis-training managers in the process

Take some HR folks. They design some new forms, and a new way of doing performance appraisals. They print out some basic instructions, print out some forms, and distribute them to managers. The assumption is managers will know the purpose goes much further than "getting the forms done".

That's not going to happen. If the HR folks yell and scream, they probably WILL get the forms back, but not much more. Managers need extensive training, not only regarding the nuts and bolts of the appraisal process, but about the why's and interpersonal parts of it. Without that, one gets an empty paper chase (while people pretend it is a useful way to expend energy).

Stupid Thing #4: Not training employees

Why would you train employees in their role in the appraisal process. First, because the only way it works is when employee and manager work together, in partnership. Both manager and employee need to hold the same understanding about why they are doing appraisal, how it will be done, and what is expected.

Very few organizations offer anything but a superficial orientation to the appraisal process. That's because they see it as something done TO employees. It isn't, except of course when the HR department treats it as something done to employees. Then managers will probably do it that way.

Stupid Thing #5: Thinking pressuring managers to get the forms in is productive.

One reason managers procrastinate with respect to doing appraisals is that they don't see the point, or see it as a waste of time. There are other reasons, too. Most can be dealt with by using flexible approaches that take into account the needs of managers. Unfortunately, a good many HR departments believe it's just a question of ordering, yelling, coercing or begging managers to get them done.

That doesn't address the reasons why managers aren't doing them. If they felt they were useful, they would do them. The key to getting them done is to make them useful. Unless of course the HR folks want to spend their days ordering, yelling coercing and begging.

Stupid Thing #6: One size fits all fantasy

Imagine the difficulty for HR staff if every manager used a different form, or different method. How would you keep track? How would you file them? We can understand the desire to standardize the forms across a company.

But if you think about it, does it make sense? Can we evaluate a teacher in the same way as we evaluate the school custodian? Do we evaluate a baseball umpire the same way we evaluate a baseball player? Of course not. But still, HR departments expect managers to use a single tool for everyone, often a rating form. This kind of inflexibility addresses a filing problem. Is that why we do appraisals? To make it easier for the HR department? No, we do it to improve performance.

Stupid Thing #7: Playing the appraisal cop.

Unfortunately, HR and personnel departments get stuck with the responsibility of getting appraisals done by managers. Perhaps it isn't their fault, but it is a strong indicator that the system being used is or has failed. How come?

In a properly functioning system, each manager is assessed on a number of things, one of which will be their fulfillment of the performance management and appraisal function. The responsibility lies with management. If a manager is not carrying out the responsibility, it is his or her boss that should be evaluating the manager. It's a cascading process. No appraisal system is going to work until each manager's boss makes it clear that getting it done is going to be a factor in the manager's own appraisal.

HR departments shouldn't be appraisal cops If anyone is to do that, it should be the manager's boss. Anything less is going to be a waste of time and effort.

Human Resources Stories: HR Managers and Engineers

Here are there stories... More Free Hr Resources like Jokes, Softwares, Books etc.

The First …

Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…

Moral: Never underestimate the powers of the engineer. More Free Hr Resources like Jokes, Softwares, Books etc.

The Second …

A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”

Moral: HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them. More Free Hr Resources like Jokes, Softwares, Books etc.

The Third …

Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
BUT… he was successful!

The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
BUT… he was successful!

The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.

Moral: You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…God Help You !

More Free Hr Resources like Jokes, Softwares, Books etc.

Motivating Story for Sales - How to Earn More Money

One of my fellow HR Community member Saumitra Yadav narrated this wonderful story about motivating his sales man. I thing this is one of the unique motivating story I have ever heard of:

Long back when i was  working as a Branch Manager for a Paint Company , I had one sales representative who was very lethargic & lazy bone. I found he was not visiting regularly the market & our sale was hampering in his area. The region where our office was located had a communist government & any direct confrontation was asking for serious trouble from active labor union. So i have to plan my action very carefully & in friendly manner.One fine late morning i went to the desk of this particular person. I sit there & started talking about his hobby & his family. He was newly married so i asked him in his next weekend where he is taking his wife to. He replied to me & mentioned one place where he would like to take his wife but he can't afford the cost.  I told him he can afford it in near future if he likes to. He asked me how, at my present position i am not going to get higher raise & there is no chance of promotion as there is no vaccancy for his immediate successive position as there was already a sales executive. I asked him why should not he try for other good paint company for senior position. He was getting excited by now.

I told him nobody will hire him as he is not visible in the market. dealer does not know him well so they will not refer his name. Last but not the least he has not aquired the required experience for the position. I  suggested to him that he should regularly visit the market. Improve his relation with dealer's. Enjoy the selling. The more he will be in the market, people from competitive companies will take notice of him & who knows in future they offer him a job. He worked for another two & half years like mad man & increased sales like anything. After that he got an offer from a much bigger paint company than us & joined them. When he was putting his paper's he just thanked me for showing him the path of enjoying the work.

I was happy for him & me too as whatever period he worked for me after that special day he generated good sales for the company. i had a guilt feeling too, was it a good idea to sell about joining other company.  ultimately i thought on a macro scale, one person from a poor performer changed to a good performer, that's enough for me. My organization can always recruit a good salesman.

Saumitra Yadav

Great going Saumitra! Keep it up!

Best Human Resources Failure Story : Let it not repeat in your Business

I found this interesting story in my email. Thanks to HR adviser Email.

The story narrated by Andy Andrews

Can an employee do his or her job too well? If so, what do you do? Praise? Raise? Discipline? Terminate? Today's guest columnist tells the true story of Foster, who did his job too well.

I met him at least 8 years ago at the Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport. He wore black pants and a white shirt with a black tie and bib apron. "Let me carry that for you, young man," he said, noticing the balancing act I was performing with my luggage and the tray of food from Paschal's Restaurant.

The old fellow grabbed my tray with a smile and was off, limping heavily on one leg that was obviously shorter than the other. I followed him around the escalator to an empty table I would never have found, and it was only then when I realized that he had also brought napkins, a straw, and packages of salt and pepper ... items I usually forget.

With a flourish, he wiped the table, removed my plate from the tray and arranged it carefully with the napkins and the iced tea. Pulling back my chair as I hurriedly retrieved three, one-dollar bills from my pocket, he smiled and said, "God bless you." His nametag read: FOSTER.

I was curious to see if this was a new service the airport had put in place. Certainly, I had never been "helped" before. I saw several other men and women dressed like my new friend, loosely assembled, and talking with each other, waiting without enthusiasm for tables to come empty. At that point, one of them would disengage from the group, clear any trash left on the table wipe it down, and return to their co-workers.

Glancing around the huge area, I quickly spotted Foster. Smiling, laughing, and moving fast, he helped one person after another. He never waited to be summoned. He went where he was needed.

I was back through the airport the next day and couldn't wait to visit the food court again. Sure enough, there he was, the old man with the big smile. He helped me to a table as he had the day before (with napkins, salt and pepper, and a straw) and said, "God bless you, young man," as he held out my chair.

I had a twenty folded and ready to place in his hand that day. I was impressed and inspired by this old man who struggled to walk, yet moved like a dervish as he cleaned empty tables and looked for people to serve. From that day forward, he was Mr. Foster to me.

As the years rolled by, I developed a great admiration for Mr. Foster. I saw him several times each month and introduced him to anyone with whom I was traveling. "Watch this guy," I would always instruct as he left our table. "And watch that bunch of other people over there dressed just like him." The contrast was clear.

I never once suspected Mr. Foster was making a play for tips. In fact, though I rarely slipped him less than twenty dollars, he often made me wait while he helped someone in obvious need of assistance. And whether they offered money or not, he always smiled, held their chairs and said, "God bless you."

And then he was gone. Unable to find my friend, I asked the ladies at Paschal's, "Where is Mr. Foster today?"

"Fired," they told me. "They fired him. Humiliated him. Sent the man home!"

The Atlanta Airport Authority, I was told, had determined that Mr. Foster had become "a distraction." They ordered him to stop helping people. "Stand with everyone else," he was told, "and wait for the tables to empty. You are a busboy; act like one."

A few months later, he was back (happy as ever) on a trial basis. But I never again let him carry my tray. I did, however, continue with the tips. He took the money because I made him take it. I was mad for him and he knew it. His "God bless you's" often came to me with a tear. His spirit was gone.

Today, I went by Paschal's. Before I could even ask, one of the ladies on the serving line spotted me. "I been expecting you," she said. "Mr. Foster's gone. He quit. Told 'em he was old and sick and couldn't do the work no more." Then she cocked her head and added with a whisper, "He ain't sick. There ain't nothing broken about that old man."

Nope, I thought as I turned away, there ain't nothing broken about that old man. Nothing but his heart.

What happens to the Mr. Fosters in your organization? What can you do to encourage employees to go above and beyond for customers? Or should you? What do you think? Use the share your comments link below.

Andy Andrews can be reached at www.Andyandrews.com.